A Carer's Voice

A poem and accompanying reflection.

By Debbie Mace, Occupational Therapist, UK.

-A Carer's Voice: Poem-

I am a carer, don't see past me,

I am a carer, don't see through me.

I am a carer, I'm here because I care,

I'm here because I care, not because I'm being paid.

This isn't a job I'd choose to take on; no way, not on any day.

I'm here because they mean the world to me.

Their heart and mine weave in time.

They are such a huge part of my life; I'm not just their child, parent, friend, husband or wife.

I'm their carer, don't see through me,

I'm their carer, please see me.

You have no idea how their life weaves with mine,

Or what it means to our family time.

It changes everything you see,

It's changed our lives, completely.

It changes every part of your everyday,

Our lives have changed, in so many ways.

Nothing is as it was before.

We've learnt a lot, them and me,

We've loved, cried, laughed and grown a lot.

Together!

And we're stronger now than ever, because,

We walk together through every door.

Because this happened, it's changed who we are.

We count our blessings more,

Than we ever did before.

We count our blessings every day,

Somehow, we've made it through, together!

We count our blessings every day, because we’re still together.

We count our blessings every day, in deep, deep gratitude, Knowing love is forever.

I'm their carer, I'm here because I care,

My love for them runs deeper than words can say.

You know it's true,

I’m here, in front of you today.

So, when you meet me, please be kind,

Be respectful,

Hear this voice that's mine.

I'm here because I choose to be,

But this isn't a job I'd choose to take willingly.

If I could choose a carefree life for them,

I'd do it now and not hesitate.

I'd set them free and go back to being me,

I wouldn't choose to be their carer at all.

But this isn't the life we have now, or

A choice we get to make.

I'm their carer, please hear me,

I'm their carer, please see our family.

By Debbie Mace, April 2025 © All rights reserved

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-A Carer's Voice: Reflection-

In recent years I have taken on a carer role for three of my closest family members.

It's a hugely rewarding, enlightening and humbling experience, although it does have its challenges.

Before this experience I didn't realise that, collectively, carers effectively create a 'second NHS' [the UK's National Health Service]. As an Occupational Therapist (OT) working with carers, I hadn't understood the challenges - and last year an opportunity arose for me to participate in a carer wellbeing project. Initially I was reluctant but, after encouragement from my family, I stepped into the experience. This helped me reflect on my carer journey so far and hear the stories and experiences of other carers; together we found a deeper appreciation of hope and creativity in life. 

It also helped me to appreciate the Occupational Therapy lens of purposeful and meaningful occupation, that can light up the darkest spaces.

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Culture and Nature Carer Wellbeing project

The 'Culture and Nature Carer Wellbeing' project ran from the Summer of 2024, until the Summer of 2025, at Doddington Hall in Lincolnshire (UK). It began with an exploration day, to help us shape the delivery of the project. There were three of these sessions across the summer months, in the hope that this approach could maximise participant engagement...

The nature and culture-based activities took place monthly, between Autumn and Spring 2025 - which felt like a long time initially, but soon passed quickly. During the engagement sessions, a suggestion was made to include a 'Celebration Event' at the end of the project, which was included with the mindfulness, wreath making, sketching, mono-printing, flower arranging and floral garden sculpture activities.

Carers were encouraged to try things out; to be 'playful' and experimental during these sessions, in the hope we could continue with some of the activities when the project ended.

In the Winter, I was asked to join the project steering group - a role I enjoyed, because it enabled me to share ideas from the larger group of carers, ensuring their perspectives could be clearly heard. The steering group supported the production of resources and training sessions, to enable sessions to continue in the community, outside of the project.

Along with family and friends, carers were invited to bring their cared-for person to the Celebration Event - to view an exhibition of their creations and co-creations during the project. These consisted of poetry, film, photographs and prints (see example below): 

During the project I had an opportunity to (more deeply) experience the value of meaningful and purposeful nature and culture-based activities. Everyone respectfully validated each other in the sessions, as our unique circumstances and experiences emerged in a supportive space. 

The focus on activity within a shared learning environment facilitated nurturing conversations, that were compassionate and supportive. 

Friendships formed and genuine feedback was given. One person described the sessions as a refreshing change from previous 'moan fests' that they'd attended in other carer settings.

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Hope and Creativity

In the Winter of 2025 I met with the project's researcher, Dr Rob Dean. Our discussion soon became focused on hope and creativity. These emerged as significant themes throughout the wellbeing project. As a carer, it's important to have hope for a better tomorrow; this extends beyond ourselves and includes our cared-for person, as well as other family members or friends. 

Without hope, life becomes hopeless, which can feel very isolating. 

Many years ago, I had the opportunity to benchmark hope alongside a day treatment service project in the West Midlands. I recall colleagues commenting that it was an impossible task to undertake. But it wasn't.

Listening to the voices of those who came to share their experiences and views of hope (and what it meant to them), it soon became clear: Hope has to be something real and tangible for us; it has to be part of our everyday lives (and that's why hope and creativity are so important). Our hopes are woven into our relationships, our roles and our connections with the natural world. All of our connections benefit from our hopes. It is part of everything that makes life worthwhile. But to feel hopeless - to feel truly without hope - is to feel lost and alone.

Hope can be found in our human occupations; it's what makes life purposeful and meaningful. It comes in many forms, but it lives within us. Hope becomes part of our identity and our creativity can keep it alive or revive it - in the darkest of times, when we need it the most.

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An Occupational Therapy Lens

Occupational Therapists appreciate the importance of both hope and creativity for people's wellbeing, as part of everyday life. Whenever we ask people about their goals, we are exploring hopes for the future and ways to creatively support recovery and help people embrace change.

As OTs, we can ignite hope and creativity in others through our understanding and appreciation of meaningful and purposeful activity - and the hope that brings. We do this collaboratively, in truly unique and co-creative ways that inspire. This is what makes our practice truly holistic and person centred. 

Our unique occupational therapy lens must be a guiding inspiration in our health and social care systems, now and into the future. Never underestimate the unique potential and importance of occupation - because it shines a light in the dark, like nothing else can. 

During a webinar hosted by the Royal College of Occupational Therapists last year, Professor Iwama said this best when he reminded us of the following: "Occupational therapy is the only allied health profession that sees the whole person, for the whole of their day - and then focuses on what's important to them, in their life."

People who receive the benefits of occupational therapy intervention can appreciate the value it brings and the difference it makes to their lives; this isn't always appreciated or well understood by members of the wider systems that we navigate. Occupational therapy is often undervalued, but we can all be advocates for change and proud of the potential that occupation offers, to everyone.